Dealing with Grief. The healthy way.

****WARNING. THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE, PHYSICAL ABUSE, AND SUICIDE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK****

Recently, I've had an uncle of mine pass and I wasn't allowing myself to grieve in a healthy manner. There was a lot of different ways I could have handled it and I'm still learning how to slowly get back to being me. My Uncle Friendly, was a man of many things, but a guider was one of them. He not only helped in the process of my mother and I moving to Texas at a young age but, also when we moved back to Washington when I was only ten. Since then, he has helped with guiding me towards the person I am today. Showing me what I should and shouldn't be focused on, guys, people who aren't doing anything for themselves, etc. He would teach me about the important things in life, things that actually mattered. Which meant losing him, was losing a piece of my world, my family.

Losing someone who's been a part of so much of your life could cause how you view life to change. How you do your day-to-day life. It did for me. Some days/nights I'd cry so hard it made it difficult to breathe. I'd drink a bottle to myself knowing I don't drink, and knew as a smoker that that wasn't me. But smoking didn't really help either. One wouldn't be enough, I'd crave more, maybe two or three to numb everything completely and block everything and everyone out. I knew it wouldn't help anything but it would help with just not thinking for a second and just space out into my own imagination. I thought about doing it again. Harming... Or even going all the way through. It hadn't been the first time but it was coming back a lot faster than it had before it the past. But knowing what it would do to my family or my partner. It wouldn't be fair to them to through that type of pain. So I turned to my first love, writing. Something I love, something I'm good at, something I feel positive doing.

So now you all know how I deal with grief. Now you know why this blog, this website, is so important to me. Everyone had to go through many traumatic emotions throughout their life, but there is always a brighter side, there is always something to continue fighting for. Even if you can't see it at first.